a little correction............

the book i am reading is called the brain that changes itself. just thought id let ya know!! :)

Day 28

today is actually day 29 for me but i didnt get to write about day 28 last night. i was to tired and im starting to not have enough hours in the day to get everything done! i usually go to bed at 12 or 12:30 at night, and wake up at 6am to go to the gym at 7am. and if i didnt go to the gym in the morning i wouldnt have enough energy to get me through the day. so im writing on early morning after the gym on day 29. what sucks about writing the next day is that i only remember like 60% of the day if i sit here and rack my brain over it. i dont like that either. so anyways, yesterday was ok i guess. i have 2 weeks left here and im excited! but im finding out i dont really know alot about me...and what i like. i dont have a hobby, and i dont do anything productive. i love photography and im gonna get more into that when i get home, and im gonna look for some sort of job as well. that will help occupy me time. there are other things i would like to do hobby wise, but i just dont know. plus it costs money and i dont know if id be any good at it. but hey, ill never know until i try right? hopefully i will soon.

well, yesterday i went to the gym twice, and omg are my arms sore from the weights! no pain no gain right?? i had class twice yesterday as well, and we had alot of homework to do. i got it done though. it took me a while, it was about finding out who you are and what type of person you want to be. that was hard for me becouse, who i want to be is simple, nice, caring, loving, laid back, happy, and to have a happy family! pretty simple right? but there has to be more than that, i know there is i just have to figure out what it is. and i could if i had more alone time here, its really hard to get a place alone to do homework , read and think. someone is always around or in the background. i could go outside on the bench in the yard and do all this but......not when we are expecting snow, right? so that option is ruled out. im gonna find a place today though. we had seminar yesterday too. i think it was on trust. good lord, i cant even remember what the seminar was on! ugh! either im forgetfull or my attention span is shot to hell! and i seriously dont think its my attention span. we got a new girl nichole yesterday. she is 20. she seems likie she will be cool, but i havent even known her for 24 hours yet. so we will see! we went to target yesterday, and i got some shampoo, and printed up some more pictures to send to the kids. i talked to nathan the other night and i told him that it was only 2 more weeks and i can come home! he was all excited and said mom!, 6 weeks really didnt take that long! lol! i miss those kiddos so much! ill see them soon though. after target, i sat in the tv room and chatted with a few people and then i went on upstairs and went to bed. i did some homework and i tried to read my book, im reading a book called the brain that fixes itself, (or trains itself...i cant quite remember.) i heard its a really good book and it has to do with all this BS, so i thought id read it. i havent gotten very far yet so i cant tell you much about it. well, im gonna go now. i have class in 15 mins. ttyl!

day 26

today started with the gym, which was great! then i just hung out for a while........im trying to think if anything exciting happened today before 1:00pm.......welll, i read a book and fell asleep. i took about an hour nap. class was at 1. and after class, me and chris went out to fire pit.with our autobiographies to BURN! I was excited! we got out there and Chris got the fire started. took us a min becouse it was windy. i threw mine in and we let it burn for a second and then he tossed his in. we sat there and watched pretty much the whole thing burn down. it was great! what a releif that was! and it felt like a clean slate, one to create with nothing but happy memories with family and friends! and that reminds me, something about this town makes me feel so free, so none stressed, i absolutely love it up here! i know alot of the stress is leaving becouse im feeling better and sober, but something about it up here in this area makes me smile, and the weather is amazing too! i so know that one day eventually i WILL be leaving louisiana. after the burning of the autobiographys, i read some more and watch tv until 4:00 when we went to the gym. that was another amazing workout! we had supper, it was all fried so i fixed me a salad. i was sittn at the table with chris, lawerence, little mike, gene, and andy, and we were all talking about what is there to do tonight? there was a pool tourniment (i wasnt gonna do that), so i said that i felt like taking a shower and then lets watch a movie. chris said that sounds good so thats what we did. we watched good will hunting. i have not seen it in a long time, it was really good. next came playing on the computer and then to bed. so, ttyl!

Day 25

HI! sorry i have written in a while, Billy came up this weekend so we were busy having a great time! He got here friday afternoon. the boss, Dave, said it was ok for me to go out with him that night! yay! so me and Billy decided to go out to eat, so i start getting ready and trying to decide what i was gonna wear. i figured it out and then i put on my make up and fixed my hair. (speaking of hair, im really sick of mine, i wish it was thick and long. instead it thin and stringy, so if anyone is willing to trade hair...please let me know! lol) so, im ready and i tell him to come pick me up. he gets here an i show him around the house, and he meets a few people and after lots of hugs and kisses we are off to go eat! there are only a few places to eat in Amsterdam. i was thinking amsterdam would be bigger than it is, but it is a small town!) they have this resturant called The Raindancer and Ruby Tuesdays. we go to the raindancer and it was packed so we decide to just go to ruby tuesdays for supper. it was nice there and the food was good. we had lots to talk about so dinner was entertaining! next we went to Target and i picked up a thing or 2 that i needed. Walmart was the next stop we made. (i know its silly to go to walmart and target, but u gotta realize, there is absolutely nothing to do here) we tried to go see a movie but they already had started. now that i think of it, we could have gone bowling or something...oh well! after walmart he took me back to the house and hung out a little while, met some of the guys here, and we watched a little tv. he left around 11..., its weird having him come pick me up and then having to leave at a certain time! lol! i hung out around downstairs for a little and then went upstairs and went to bed. I got up at 6:30 saturday morning to get ready for the day. Billy came to pick me up at 9:00am, and we decided to go to Saratoga Springs. They have a really neat shopping strip on a street called Broadway. it was a beautiful sunny day so that was a big plus! we get there , and we look for a place on broadway for Billy to get something to eat. We found a little cafe, it was really cute place. He had breakfast and I had a cup of coffee. after that we started looking around and going into neat little shops. i loved this area of town! the street was just lined with beautiful tulips and in all different colors! tulips are my favorite flower too! and the trees were so colorful! i dont think we could have picked a better day to go to Broadway st. there was a park there too, filled with beautiful pink flowered trees, there was a pond in the middle. we sat there for a while just enjoying the weather and watching the ducks along with the tons of people flying kites. after that we walked around some more, went in and out of all these cool little shops. we were getting hungry, so we went down one of the side streets and found a little sushi place and ate there. it was ok, definately no Samari!! (i told billy samari is the first place i want to eat when i get hime!!) after that, we drove around the town, which was soo pretty and clean! all the houses were beautiful! we were looking for this automobile museum. turns out it was in this huge park that had a golf course with a track circleing the entire golf course. the auto museum was towards the back of the park. we parked and went inside. they had lots old gorgeous old corvettes on the bottom floor, and old race cars upstairs along with other old cars. i loved it but it could have been a little bigger. oh well, we still had a great time! then we headed back to the house. i had to be back at 6:15 for the seminar movie. he stayed and watched it with me. the movie was The Edge. it was pretty good, kind of long though. when the movie was done, we left and went to go eat at the raindancer. and OMG, i loved it! it was really good, and the atmosphere was awsome! i really wish that we had one in monroe. i really enjoyed the dinner. he took me back to the house, and hung out a bit, and back to his hotel he went. i really enjoyed that day, we had so much fun together, and the weather was perfect! the next morning, he came to eat breakfast with me, and then we watched a little tv, and then he had to go. it really sucked when he had to leave, but u have to think positive, its only 2 1/2 more weeks, time really has gone by faster than i thought it would here. i have really enjoyed it here even though being away from my kids and husband, ive learned alot, way more than i ever expected id learn here. and i have literally changed my way of thinking so much, about everything! that has been the biggest change for me. i never ever thought i could learn to change everything just by the way i think about things. this is one of the best programs i have EVER been through and I honestly think that this is a program that should be offered everywhere, hell, put it in middle schools so kids will maybe learn how to see the possitive in almost every situation and learn how to make good and positive choses in every situation, that way they wont start off with negative choses and spiral downward from there becouse that is exactly what will happen. maybe the program could lessen the number of future addicts. i still have alot more to learn in these next 2 weeks and im excited about that. i am ready to come home so much but, i also know that i need these next 2 and a half weeks of the program. so, .......there was my amazing weekend! im so glad he got to come up! im fixing to head off to a class right now so ill write later! bye! :)

Day 21

i know i didnt write anything on yesterday........ill brief u.........it was a really boring day, until my girl alisha got kicked out! u heard me right! she drank the night before and i had no idea! :( they caught her and she is gone now! i hope she is ok, i miss her being here! :( im not going to go into detail, it just really sux that she is gone! but......what can u do? the other 2 amandas are still here! and i am enjoying there company. yesterday evening we went to the YMCA and i worked out while the guys swam. we had to leave the YMCA early cause we found out another guy got kicked out for smoking weed! what the heck?? the entire staff is beyond baffled at all this BS that is going on and they are totally stressed out. my teacher jessica said that this is just crazy cause its is never like this. she says normally MAYBE one person a month gets kicked out! so, for today, i spent all day (of my free time) finishing my autobiography. it turned out to be 24 pages! ugh! im sooo glad that is done! i also mailed my kiddos some pictures today as well! i hope they like them! we went to this place tonight about 40 mins away from here called Caffe Lena. it was an open mike type of thing and the people that played were awsome!! i loved it there and would enjoy going to a place like that every now and then! we dont have one in monroe, nor do we have the cool NY people to perform as well! the place that we went to was in like a downtown shopping area, alot like downtown new orleans but alot cleaner and cooler looking. i really enjoyed it there!

I banged up my knee tonight. I was running UP the stairs and fell! wth?? and my knee is probably gonna be colorful tomorrow! i sure hope not. good news about tomorrow though, my husband will be flying up here!! yay!! i know this is a boring blog, but i dont really have to much to say! hopefully i will have alot to write about this weekend and have lots of pictures to post on here for u all to see!! anyways, good night!!! ttyl!

Day 19

Well, today was not as lovely as i had planned it to be. I got up and went to the gym this morning, which was a good workout, then i came back to the house and did the normal routine of showering and getting ready. I didnt have class until 2pm so...what to do. i sat around, had some fruit, did some homework, and i started getting tired, so i came up here to take a nap. well, alisha woke me up about an hour later and told me that my class got switched to 11am and my instructor was Matt instead of Jessica. (jess had gone to vegas this weekend with her husband on a buisness trip and there flight back was messed up so she did not make it in time). so i hope out of my treehouse and grab my diet pepsi, and go out onto the deck where we were having class. man it was bright. running outside in the sun from being inside in the semi-dark, napping, is a big shock to my eyes! ouch! lol! anyways, i crack open my pepsi and ohhh it was grrreat!! it was so cold it had ice in it! and i love that! thats like one of those things that i really like.....like cold feather pillows, and the feeling of a new pair of socks being worn for the first time. anyways, we had a pretty quick class today. and after that, i came back in, we ate lunch, and then i came back upsetairs and fell asleep again. and this time i slept for 2 hours. it was a GREAT sleep! i didnt move an inch while i was asleep! and i know this becouse when i woke up i still had a good bit of lip gloss on! crazy! but let me tell you about the dream i had! omg! its so funny! ok, i ws at moms, and it was easter. for some reason, we had someone who dressed up in a purple bunny suit, come hopping up my moms front yard. i was outsude, trying to shove mashed potatoes inside of balloons, which somehow i succeeded, and began to throw them at the rabbit!! what in the world?? i swear, i have the strangest dreams sometimes!

ok, so i talked to the kiddos last night, and i asked them what kind of party they want when i get home, and natalie said she wanted bath junkie, so im gonna call them tomorrow and get all the details for a party there. and nathan said he wanted a camping one at home. he wants to roast marshmellows over a fire, sleep outside in a tent and he wants billy to grill hamburgers and steak, and me to make tacos! lol! tacos at a camp out! but hey, if thats what he wants then we will do it! i gotta look into buying a big tent tho...and figureing out how many kids we can invite and stuff. ive thought of some ideas for the party, but im trying to come up with more, sort of unique ones.......so if anyone has any ideas please let me know!

well, i needed to wash clothes today, and alisha was going to go with me, and we were going to show the 2 new amandas where the laundry mat was and stuff. so, we gather all our laundry, and get ready to go, and we ask the director, and he says we cant! that wwe have to have a freaking shaperone go with us! wth??? and of course, there was no one available to go! its all becouse of the stupid idiots who are using, and ruining privialges for everyone! yes they are getting caught and thrown out, but they r making us be on lock down! this to me is bull shit! why not just test us everyday or something? so, now for the time being, we cant go anywhere without someone coming with us! ugh! that really gave me the red ass today. im gonna be even more pissed tomorrow if i cant get my laundry done, im not gonna wear sweaty clothes to the gym!! anyways, i need to get off that subject, its pissing me off again.

so, after supper we had seminar, and we had a small exercise to do. one part of it was to name ur favorite animal. so of course, i put elephant cause i LOVE them! well then u were suposed to write 3 things adjectives about the animal. so i put big, grey, and cute. well, that was suposed to represent how we see ourself. lol! well dang! i see me as an elephant??!! i mean, i knew i needed to lose some weight but dang! lol! i found it funny!! well............i still have not finished my autobiography. im going to try to finish it tomorrow. i just hate writing papers! uh well! im going to bed now! night!

Day 18

today was a good day! and a refreshing one!! i went to the gym this morning and had a great workout! i am feeling so much better! (oh and babe, we are joining a gym when i get home and we are GOING! LOL, for real babe!) then we hung out around the house and talked and joked and watched some tv. later on, we went to the gym again. oh my goodness! im so tired from it all! but its great!! im feeling so much better, and im trying to get my energy back. im trying not to fall asleep during the day. ive gone from two naps a day to one nap a day. so, maybe its working. i went to sunbeds today as well. they have some awsome stand up beds! the tanning place sold the same lotions as the tanning place i go to in west monroe, but the lotion is outragiously priced here! a bottle of lotion that sells for 65 buck in west monroe sells for 165 bucks here! what the heck?? needless to say i did not buy lotion! lol! hopefully i will get to go at least almost everyday this week. ive lost my tan since ive been here! ugh! well, ive written a little on my autobiography, and its due thursday..........i need to get crackin!! im so ready to go home and see everyone!! and to be home in my house! i will say, this has been a big experience coming here. this place is a great place and the program is the best i have ever heard of for recovery. u meet so many people from all over the USA. off the top of my head lets see, we have someone from florida, massachusettes (i so cant spell that), california, kentucky, tennessee, virginia, idaho, virgin islands, long island, ohio............and i cant think of the rest....i think its really neat. im so ready to get home and live the new life im starting! i havent been this happy and positive in i dont know how long! anyways, im in bed, and im ready to go to sleep. tomorrow is going to be another great day! and ill let u know how it goes!!! night!